


Anger and Hate dig holes

by Baccatapages



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Borderline Personality Disorder, CEO Dean, Chubby Dean, Guilt, High School, Jock Castiel, Lawyer Castiel, M/M, Mentioned Suicide Attempt, Nerd Dean, Read the tags just in case, Rich Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-10
Updated: 2018-04-10
Packaged: 2019-04-21 03:09:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14275629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Baccatapages/pseuds/Baccatapages
Summary: "Anger and hate dig holes, love and kindness move mountains" - Zero DeanCastiel made a mistake in school that haunted him into adulthood. When he finally meets Dean Winchester again, he's no longer the chubby nerd he remembers. How will Dean react?





	Anger and Hate dig holes

_Like most teenagers, hormones got the better of Castiel during high school._

_Paired with his 'Devil may care' attitude, unresolved childhood issues and the pressure of his peers, that generally made him a Grade A jerk. That involved sleeping with many people, male and female, neglecting his school work and breaking many hearts along the way. You see, Castiel was the one everyone wanted to be/be with and that went to his head. It was hard to ask if he had a spare pencil without him flirting/thinking you're flirting with him._

_There was one person that was basically totally in love with Castiel, not just for the popularity he offered, and that was Dean Winchester. Said teen was in every single AP class the school had to offer, the top of all his classes... Except gym. That was his blind spot, where he fell down in his abilities. And it wasn't that he didn't try, it was just that the teacher never seemed to pay much attention to Dean and in matches, he normally got slaughtered within the first few seconds whether it be dodgeball or ping pong._

_Castiel Novak and Dean Winchester were polar opposites, really. Castiel was the bad boy every girl or boy swooned over, Dean included, while Dean was friend zoned quite often because he wasn't... 'bad' in the sense Castiel was. Castiel was the pride and joy of the gym coach whereas Dean was comparable to a rat._

_It wasn't that Castiel was a bad person, he just made some really crappy decisions in where his friends lay. Said friends included Uriel, Alistair, Zachariah and Gordon._

_Almost everyone knew that everyone had a crush on Castiel, but Dean's seemed to be the one that was the most intense as he never acted on it or tried to make a move on Castiel. So as a cruel joke, Castiel's friends goaded him into asking out the nerdy, chubby Dean Winchester that was such a big softie._

_Dean didn't seem to realise that Castiel was doing it for a joke and accepted anyway. Later, Castiel saw Benny Lafitte talking Dean's ear off on how going out with Castiel was a bad idea, so Castiel swooped in and showed some fake affection. He found it slightly uncomfortable to show such affection with someone who didn't even look like he had hit puberty yet._

_During the date, Castiel tried to remain as distant as possible but it was hard. Dean was nice, funny, smart, and willing to listen to whatever Castiel talked about. It was weird to find someone like that after being so promiscuous._

_Outside the diner where they had had the date, Castiel's friends were waiting and they called Dean some awful names that no self-respecting person would ever use. Castiel, of course, had to join in for the sake of his popularity. Because that was what was most important, right? It was no surprise that Dean ran away with angry tears in his eyes and Castiel briefly considered following him before his friends pulled him away._

 

_As he walked down the hallway on Monday, he passed Sam. A younger student with floppy brown hair that Castiel usually got on well with. Instead of the usual 'Hi Castiel', Sam glared and shoved past Castiel with such force for a small boy that Castiel stumbled into the wall._

_'Castiel.' The Principle, Joshua Eden said sternly during break. 'May I speak with you in my office?'_

_Castiel was escorted by the principle to his office and was confused to find four people already there. One was the Sheriff, Jody Mills, another was Sam and presumably his parents. 'Take a seat.' Jody snapped and Castiel sat down warily._

_'Castiel, do you know why you are here today?' Joshua asked calmly._

_'No, I have no idea.' Castiel mentally raced through all the things he could possibly be facing the Sheriff for._

_'On Friday night, where were you?' Jody asked._

_'I was on a date.' Castiel said slowly._

_'And how did that date go?' Jody asked with fake interest._

_'Sorry, what does this have to do with...?' Castiel trailed off. Sam and his parents looked like they had been crying and had little sleep and Castiel wondered why._

_'At half eleven on Friday, an off-duty paramedic by the name of Rufus Turner found Dean Winchester trying to slit his wrists.' Jody said coldly._

_A knot formed in Castiel's stomach._

_'He was so excited.' Sam's mother whispered. 'He talked our ear off about you.' Her husband remained silent, glaring poisonous daggers at Castiel._

_'Castiel, I wonder if you were aware of Dean's mental state?' Joshua asked and Castiel shook his head. 'Dean Winchester was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. Do you know what that means?' Another shake of the head._

_'Every day is a battle in your head. Fighting your emotions, reminding yourself that you are good and your friends don’t hate you. One wrong word, one look, anything that feels like a rejection IS a rejection. Then you obsess about it. You pick things apart. It's a war zone in your own mind. Trying to control everything in your head is painstaking. Exhausting. You want to be alone but you don’t want to be lonely. When you do make a connection, you attach yourself. You obsess because that is what you do. You become overbearing, annoying. Enough to push people away. Some days it feels like you don’t have a heart. Other days it feels like it’s going to explode out of your chest. You never know who you will be in the morning. Always exhausted but never able to sleep. It’s a prison.' Sam said, sniffling._

_'Mr Winchster has been in the ICU for the weekend and will remain there while he heals.' Jody said. 'Lucky for you, Dean hasn't decided to press charges.'_

_'You are, however, suspended for six weeks as punishment along with two months of after-school detentions every day.' Joshua said matter-of-factly. 'Along with your peers who goaded you into the 'joke'.'_

_**Oh god, what have I done?** _

 

 

'Castiel, are you listening to me?' Charlie frowned and snapped her fingers under Castiel's nose. He jerked and swatted her hand away.

'What were you saying?' He asked.

'The CEO and a special guest is swinging by.' Charlie huffed. 'As a 'treat' for the employees.' Said CEO of one of the biggest lawyer firms was Sam Winchester, not much of a surprise considering Sam was always such a bright kid at school. Castiel, who had become a lawyer, was moved to Winchester Lawyers as an exchange and peace treaty between the two biggest firms in America. Needless to say, Sam was not happy with what he got.

'Probably just a basket of mini muffins.' Castiel shrugged and went back to sorting through the Walker Case. He found it hard to believe he was actually friends with the prick, but he had changed a lot over time. 

'Nope, it's not that.' Charlie said smugly.

Castiel glanced up at her. 'You know who the special guest is.'

'He's one of my best friends and he's rather famous.' Charlie said. 'We met at MIT.'

'So he's smart?' Castiel mused. 

'He might be your type.' Charlie offered. Castiel glared. 'What? He's got genitalia.'

'Remember the last time you set me up with Meg?' Castiel shuddered. 'That was not fun.'

'So I made a mistake with her, so what?' Charlie shrugged. 'Doesn't mean my judgment hasn't been right before. Remember Daphne?' Ah, the lovely Daphne. She was perfect, if not for the fact that she was already married which Charlie neglected to mention.

'Everybody.' Sam Winchester got the attention of everyone on the floor, stood in the doorway. 'I'd like you all to meet my brother. Dean.'

Castiel ducked under his desk quickly, shaking from fear. He knew Dean wouldn't forget and Castiel certainly hadn't forgotten. Charlie looked at him strangely but didn't say anything. Apparently Dean was going around, talking to some of the lawyers. 

Castiel looked up to see a handsome Dean Winchester staring down at him with beautiful eyes. He gulped at the silent rage behind his eyes. Slowly, Castiel stood and brushed off his trousers. 'Uh, hi.' Castiel said nervously. Dean crossed his arms, still glaring at him. 'You remember me, then?' He asked weakly.

'Unsurprisingly.' Dean's low, timbre of a voice said and turned and walked away briskly. He had grown at least a foot since Castiel had last seen him, his fat had turned to defined muscle and was apparently incredibly important. 

'Yikes. What did you do?' Charlie asked.

'I made a mistake.' Castiel sighed. 'One I wish I could take back.'

'You don't really want him on your bad side.' Charlie pointed out. 'You think this company is rich? Well, Dean has about a hundred different companies and firms that he's invested in and owns and what he makes? It makes what this company makes look like a ten year old's pocket money.'

 

It was no shock to Castiel when he was called to Dean's 'New Office' and he felt like he was seventeen all over again. 

'Mr Novak.' Dean said, sitting behind his desk. 'Have a seat.'

Castiel sat and Dean got up and closed the door. He sat down at the edge of the desk so he was higher than Castiel. Just as he opened his mouth, Castiel's verbal filter vanished from panic. 'Oh god Dean you have no idea how much of a jerk I was! I'm so sorry! IF I could go back and change things I would! I never meant to hurt you like I did! I completely understand if you want to fire me, I'd do the same!' Castiel blabbered. Dean sighed and covered his eyes from irritation as Castiel continued to talk.

'...nothing I can do to make it up to you! I'm an awful person and you should just throw me out with no job and leave me to suffer at the hands of the job market!' Castiel stopped for breath, shaking slightly and Dean took his chance to speak.

'Mr Novak!' Dean snapped and Castiel's mouth shut with a click. 'I'm not angry.' Castiel blinked in surprise. 'By all rights I should be, and I was, until I saw you earlier.'

'I don't understand.'

'I heard from Sam while I was at MIT that you'd gotten into drugs, were in a bad way from guilt over what happened and I felt like you deserved it. I've harboured this emotion towards you that I thought was hate for so long, Cas. When I saw you yesterday, I realised it wasn't hate. IT was the complete opposite. I realised that I had forgiven you even though you... did what you did.' Dean sighed. 

'IF you want to pretend nothing happened and just continue to be coworkers, that'd be great.' Castiel said quietly.

'That's not really what I was meaning, Cas.' Dean hummed. 'I'm going to be at the Italian restaurant tomorrow at seven. Just in case you wanted to know.' He shrugged. 'Oh!' He reached behind him and held a case file. 'I need you to complete the file on the Masters Case.' Castiel took it and nodded.

'I will see you tomorrow.' Castiel said and all but ran out of the office. 

*Three years later*

Sunlight filtered into the room, pulling Dean from a very nice sleep. He rolled over onto his back and blearily looked around for where Castiel had gotten to, but then he smelled pancakes. He smiled to himself and go out of bed, slightly sore from the previous night's activities. 

'Don't even try it.' Castiel said with his back turned, still paying attention to the stove. Dean had tried to sneak up on his fiance and blow a big raspberry to scare him, but he could never get that far. 

'How do you even knew when I'm going to do it?' Dean grumbled, wrapping his arms around Castiel's stomach fondly.

'I'm your fiance, I know everything.' Castiel said as if it was obvious. 

'Hmm, and do you know that i'm madly in love with you?' Dean said.

'Huh.' Castiel looked briefly confused. 'I didn't. But I know I love you.' 

'Wanna show me?' Dean wiggled his eyebrows and Castiel rolled his eyes. 

'After pancakes.' Castiel promised.

'Promise?' Dean pouted.

'Promise.' Castiel smiled.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea how the American school system works  
> All gifs are from the internet


End file.
